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Despite the Christmas card images of warmth and festive cheer, the winter months can be the toughest time of year. Short days and bad weather limit our exposure to natural light, financial and social pressures can intensify, and family reunions often reignite painful or difficult emotions. It seems crazy that we choose the end of the festive period to set ourselves ambitious self-improving or life-changing targets, and it's for this very reason that so many of those resolutions fall by the wayside and lead many people into a downward spiral by the end of January.
Yet it's not the setting targets in itself that's the problem. Recognising the need for change and being able to set clear and realistic goals is one of the most useful and effective tools in improving our own mental health. So how does one go about positive goal setting in a way that can inspire rather than overwhelm?
What do you want to change? First, it's important to recognise what's really holding you back. Perhaps you could do with losing 5kg and want to give up smoking. You could make resolutions to diet and stop smoking, but if the real reason you keep snacking and smoking is to curb your social anxiety, then your goals need to address that very issue. Spend some time thinking about the changes you want to make, and talk them through with people you know and trust. Once you identify the real issue, it will help you become clearer about how to tackle it.
How can you make these changes manageable? Why not try to zero in on your goals - by breaking them down into smaller specific targets. Instead of losing 5kg, why not cut down on sweets, biscuits and cakes? You might not see dramatic weight loss, but it's a first step to embracing healthier eating habits. Give yourself clear and time-specific targets - perhaps one biscuit per day and no sweets after 4pm. Once you know you can achieve these targets you'll feel more positive and be inspired to look at other ways to improve your diet.
Who are you trying to impress? Make sure your goals reflect who you are and your values. To remain motivated you must care about the changes you are making. If you want to run a marathon to impress other people, but aren't really enthused by running, then will achieving this goal make you more fulfilled? You have to believe in what you're doing if you want it to make you feel good about yourself. Pick goals that make you feel personally inspired.
You don't have to go it alone. Making goals with or alongside others can help you stay motivated. Some people find an element of competition spurs them on, whilst others enjoy the camaraderie of working in a group to achieve the same aims. If sharing your goals with others might motivate you, then consider finding a group of like-minded people where you can meet for regular support sessions. Talking through your goals with trusted family members, friends, or qualified professionals can help you come up with new strategies and ideas.
Don't give up on yourself. We all make mistakes, and being overly hard on yourself when you fail to achieve your goals will not help you move forward. If you really want to make changes, and your goals are realistic, you'll get there in the end, even if the journey is long and hard. Sometimes life will conspire against you, your priorities change temporarily or you feel overwhelmed. Give yourself a break - see this as a minor hiccup rather than a downhill slide - and when you're ready to get back to the challenge just pick up where you left off and don't look back.
By J. McCullock BA. (Hons.)
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